PEACE. Not everything has to be serious surely ?

asking for trouble

ok, here goes. just asking for trouble

What do you want to see on this site ? What do you not want to see ? What do you want to read ? and what not ?

god help us

About the Author

Surftwisted

35 Responses to “ asking for trouble ”

  1. More pictures of fish, this is a good one.and More from Dingo please.

  2. I would like more rivalry between your blog and Alex Wade’s. Bitching, slander, threats of violence and some really petty stuff about each others website content. That would get me hooked. I love you both so I’m starting from a pretty even plateau, but to be honest I just haven’t got time to read two surf blogs…so I want to see a fight to the death, may the best man win. (By the way, Alex just called you a kook Tony) Go!

  3. I agree with Steve-more Dingo fish and another Shelf Fest! Also,why is there no problem page on this site?Have you lot got a problem? People are always asking questions and I for one would like some answers xx

  4. p.s. remember what happened to the pointy birds?

  5. i hate the fish.

    do a video pod cast thingy. but not with the music from that last vidio that was dire

    do it like the hawaii surf sessions one i like that one

  6. LOL ! Alex Wade is a big poof ! Dingos fish of the week would work, how do we contact him ? a problem page sounds good, and what did happen to the pointy birds ? podcast ? can you find a link to the kind of thing you mean Fluffz ? Alex Wade, Im gonna bitch slap him !

  7. Sounds like Alex has a PROBLEM to me!!I would strongly suggest you start running pretty damned fast Alex…….or else stand and fight,but those are the 2 things I d strongly suggest….OR you could try some conflict resolution techniques and just get around a table and talk it thro,after all violence never really solved anything…though boxing s an obvious exception… and war of course,then again running away s not helpful either…unless you re a fox-are you a fox Alex?ARE you?? Maybe that s the REAL problem here…ALEX WADE IS A FOX! In which case,I ve no time for this nonsense.

  8. he can run (like a girl) but he cant hide (has a fat arse)

  9. Both of the conditions you ve mentioned could be seen as problematical for Alex-unless of course he is a girl with a fat arse…even then it may be a problem if his cross gender gait and generously proportioned derriere are impacting negatively on his life.At the end of the day,only Alex herself really knows his own mind and what her problems are so for goodness sake let s all of us just LEAVE HIM ALONE!! Remember Alex,you CAN run and you CAN hide[but it s probably best to get a good headstart and choose a substantial hidey hole,eh big fella?]

  10. LOL ! after the day ive had, this is doing me the world of good…….. this blogg battle will be settled in the warm waters of the Goldy Pro, may the best team win, and my team of 5 is, in the words of Mr M Ali “gonna kick some nasty ass”, watch out Wadey

  11. mmmmmmmmmmm, i see where you coming from there, keep it c oming

  12. You can talk the talk Mr Plant, but what journalistic awards have you been nominated for this year? http://surfnation.co.uk/surf_nation/2009/02/on-a-shortlist-not-sad-and-superstoked.html
    Alex Wade 1 Tony Plant 0

  13. well Mr greg, expect a reply from the official “surftwisted press agent”, once he has read the message on his mobile, gone home, washed up, cooked the kids tea and logged on, his response will be sharp, incisive, current and witty, or else he will receive a second text , informing him that he has been sacked, and that he is a washed up has been, like a dead spider, on the high water line of life.
    peace

  14. Indeed Me Lud! Oh yes,as Resident Press Officer for Surftwisted [and Marti Pellow]I would take issue with the aforementioned lack of award nominations on Mr Plant’s CV.Indeed in 2008 he was nominated for outstanding penmanship in People’s Friend aswell as winning the prestigious Article of the Month Award in Trill Magazine[Official Home of the Budgerigar Enthusiast].Mr Plant does NOT brag about these achievements,neither does he go in for the shameful name-dropping and self-promotion of Mr Wade and his drooling lackeys,preferring to let his silence speak for itself.I would also add that I am unaware of William Wordsworth EVER running a decent blog,even in his heyday-I VERY much doubt if he could do so now in middle age.Smarten up Mr Wade and get with the times!!

  15. Well said JD. and we should not forget the big stories of 2008. Stokes and the marlin fishing being a prime example of ground breaking journalism. Tony is exploring the underbelly and the overbelly of british surf culture as never before.

  16. Mr Hogg, you most definately have the job, and i cant see the screen anymore

  17. hot birds in man united shirts draped over Audi a5s?

    a section on why south coast surfing is for real men

    you did ask….

  18. Video podcast Tony, it has to be done!

    Could just be of you, sitting in a rocking chair. Telling us stories.

  19. but how do we get a podcast up ?

  20. Get a webcam or video camera, set it up and sit in front of it. Record it, upload it. Preferably all at 2am whilst very drunk, they tend to get the best reactions and most hits the next day.

  21. right, podcasts it is, good call mr roy zeeeeee, so, do we upload onto youtube first or is there another way ?

  22. Well,I for one can t wait to see Tony sitting in a rocking chair,pissed,at 2 o clock in the morning,children smiling at his feet a la Val Doonican ,telling us stories.Personally,and I think I speak for all of us here,I believe this is the kind of cutting edge journalism that knocks the likes of Mr Alex Wade into a cocked hat!!Keep pushing that envelope Surftwisted-it’s crazy but it just may be crazy enough to work!

  23. bung it on you tube and you can also submit it to i tunes
    then people can sudscribe and get it auto downloaded

  24. thats not as easy as you made it sound young Fluffy

  25. My name is Alex Wade and I have just returned from London and an awards ceremony, at which, despite being sober for most of the night, I failed to win anything. I blame the outright sexism of the judges, who, upon gazing at my shapely behind, said: “Young, or should we say middle-aged, lady, you’ve been putting on weight. Have you been sitting in a chair, or reclining on a table, or perhaps perching on a roof, doing nothing but stare at your laptop and read about your rivalry with Tony Plant all day?”

    I denied this charge and said that I hadn’t even seen anything Twisted for a while, being far too busy with self-promotional activities of the highest order. But they were like a fizzy drink and unrelenting.

    “You are fat,” they said. “Now go back to Cornwall and ask Greg what all this is about.”

    I found Greg in the depths of the night at Penzance train station, where he was practising his left foot volleys against a low wall. The noise was terrible but Greg had draped a rug over the wall to muffle the sound of the ball, thus preventing the nearby residents from waking up. Jonty Henshall, in particular, was fast asleep.

    “I knew I’d find you here,” said I, “but isn’t this kind of thing beyond the call of duty?”

    Greg peered at me, as if I were a stranger. “Why are you wearing a skirt?” he said, eventually.

    “I am a woman,” I said, “and, like all women, I need an answer.”

    “What is the question?” said Greg.

    “How can I win the award next year?”

    At this, Greg unleashed a volley of terrifying ferocity. It smashed a hole in the wall and can still be seen, even now, three minutes later. “It’s obvious!” he shouted. “You must vanquish Tony Plant in a GAME OF CHESS! WITH A DIFFERENCE!”

    The difference, he went on to explain, was that both sets of chess pieces would be the same colour. Any colour was allowed, save for pink, white, green, black, red, yellow and lime. “Especially lime,” said Greg.

    “Surely that will lead to terrible confusion?” I asked, wiggling my behind seductively.

    “Exactly!” said Tony Plant.

    (To be continued.)

  26. what ? I will get JD Hogg, official surftwisted press officer onto this immeadiately, theres an obvious PR angle on this, we must follow prceedures

  27. Who is prceedures? Does he surf?

  28. hes a long lost vowel of mine, havent heard from her for years

  29. OK Tony! You call,we haul!This is J.D.Hogg fresh off the plane from judging the St Agnes Retirement Homes Beauty Pageant 2009.Just myself,Marti Pellow and a bevy of mature Cornish delight!! Chess eh? No problem….I suggest we set up a table and chairs[maybe reinforced for Wide Load Wade]on Fistral Beach this weekend,invite the local press and a leery crowd of surf types and settle this thing like real men-skillfully manouvering pink chess pieces in the face of a swiftly approaching tide!!Let s see if Mr No Awards can roll with the BIG boys!How d you like them apples Butter Butt?Or maybe you d rather play with YELLOW?? How about it Wadey or will your moobs be in the way? J.D.Hogg p.s.The pageant was won by Mrs Irene Penhelligan of Truro Dizzy Heights Home for The Haunted [who has since passed away].

  30. I am afraid of nothing, except my gout. Lately it’s been spreading from toe to toe and making me limp as I climb pillars. Once atop them, the pain abates, but then, as I descend, it returns. By the time I am on the ground again, it has mutated into something Twisted, like a bizarre chess game played on Fistral Beach with rubber ducks as pawns, lilos as bishops and foamies as feuding sandcastles, amidst which Tony Plant stands immune, a Canute among chessmen, commanding the tide to do his bidding and vanquish me, but just as victory is his a soft voice whispers in my ear and says “J.D. Hogg is Wrong! He hasn’t been paying attention! Greg expressly said that the game could not be played with pink pieces. He also banned yellow. This game is invalid. Plant’s attempt to win is over. It is time to return to the real world. It is much safer there. For a start, there is no gout.”

    PS Talking of moobs, a writer I know has completed a book called ‘Man Tits’. I suspect the content is good but am worried about the title.

  31. ahhhh, this is all working out so beautifully

  32. hmm….more randomly stupid competitions!!! they may seem pointless but there fun fun fun!(for me anyway,i have nothing else to do…)

  33. ahh, our manifesto

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